Big Ass Rock

One of the perks of my new car is a year's worth of Sirius Satellite Radio and my new fav radio thing: Channel 77 Broadway!!!

How have I missed this song from The Full Monty musical version?


The Full Monty Musical Lyrics
Big-Ass Rock Lyrics
Jerry:

Let's find a rock
I mean a big-ass rock
Or maybe something like
A cinder block is better
I'll hoist it up
And drop it on your face, my buddy
And just before the lights go out
You'll see my smile and you'll know
You've got a friend
With a rock
Who cares
I mean a big-ass rock

Dave:

Or ropeI got some quality rope
Made for a man who's devoid of hope
Like you are, my buddy Michael -

Malcolm:

Unh, that's Malcolm.Dave

Dave:

Malcolm. Right!
And I won't leave you swinging there
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air
I'll grab your feetAnd pal o' mine
I'll pull real hard
And snap your spinal cord

Jerry:

The world is cold when you're alone and
They ignore you
But don't kill yourself

Jerry & Dave:

We'll do it for you
You've got a friend

Dave:

You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch said? "Drop dead, asshole."

Jerry:

People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor and drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye...

Dave:

What he say?

Jerry:

"I'm low on nails."

Dave:

People are selfish pricks.

Jerry:

Another time, now get this, I just lay down in front of a steam roller and asked the guy just to proceed, you know, business as usual, and just squash me like a bug.

Dave:

That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash. We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head.

Jerry:

Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.

Malcolm:

I stuck my finger in a socket once. It hurt real bad...but it didn't kill me.

Jerry:

Malcolm, stay out of this.

Malcolm:

I've got a friend
Like Carole King
Or was it Carly Simon
Used to sing?
I always get those two confused
But anyway -I turned around
And suddenlyI'm not alone
It ain't just me
I'm like a player on the team
I'm part of the gang...
A member of the club

Jerry & Dave:

Player on our team
Part of the gang
Welcome to the club

Dave:

Oo ... let's get a club

Jerry:

I like the big-ass rock

Dave:

Naw, one good swing andI'll clean his clock forever

Jerry:

Let gravity do the work!

Dave:

It's a man's way to die, Mikey.

Jerry and Malcolm!:

You got friends
Oo...I've got friends
Oo...

Dave & Jerry:

Friends who will
Love you like a maniac
And lead you like a lamb
To the railroad track
And tie you down
Or tickle your wrist
With a single-edge razor
Or buy you a beer with
A Draino chaser
Or dump you in theRiver with a rock

Malcolm:

A big-ass rock

Jerry:

Here's a nice one right over here

Dave:

Can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy.

Jerry:

No DaveIt's ain't heavy...he's my friend

Dave:Come on, group hug.





FIND THIS SONG NOW AND LISTEN TO IT. IT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH TIL YOU PEE YOU PANTS (CAUSE IT HAPPENS TO YOU ALL SOME TIME)