Perhaps....

As I was thinking today, in what moments of calmness I could muster as I slaved away trying to catch up with the piles of paper that engulfed my desk this week, I was still thinking about my liaise-faire attitude that I generally have about my life and the world in general.

When I was younger I was a worrier. My grandmother Salser was a worrier so I learned it honestly. I remember saying my own kind of mantra as I was trying to go to sleep as it was storming outside or as my parents were fighting. The worry actually got so bad at a few points that I actually would break out in hives the size of your adult hand all over my body.

I have no idea how I moved beyond this worriness and into my laid backness but in many ways I am happy that I lean on this side of the fence than the other. It definitely makes life a little easier to take and keep the waters of reality pretty calm as I continue to navigate my way through.

I am...

What has come of the days, not to long ago, where as I would awaken, I would be filled with excitement as to what that day was going to bring? As I began my morning ablutions I would wonder what lie around that corner I would traverse later that morning, where would I find myself later that evening? Oh who am I kidding, I was never that boy or even man who was excited by the expectations of the day. I have always been laid back enough to drone on day by day. I don’t mean this in a harmful or hurting way, it’s a fact of who I am and have always been happy to be this way. It makes me a cheap date in that I am so easily amused by whatever I am doing. I don’t get bored and seldom in my life do I worry about my place in the greater good or even reality. I am. Yet sometimes I think this is wrong and I should be more attentive to my feelings and musings. I feel that I should want to go on a spiritual journey and make myself a better person not only for the world but for myself. But…. I don’t. I have great fondness for those who do though. I wish them the best and ask how I can help or at least not hinder their travels. But I will be here, sitting on my couch, perhaps making a short physical trip to my beloved Las Vegas, visiting my blood and non-blood families and generally just being me. Few worries and even fewer regrets. Lucky aren’t I?

Mea Culpa

Well, once again I have let the art of blogging go for a month without making it a part of me. In that month I have made another trip to Las Vegas with my friend’s Lynne and Jim. I have received a rather nice bonus and raise from my place of employment and have jumped through hoops in order to get a promotion at work. A friend’s mother has been labeled terminal and is losing her battle with cancer. The weather has been from zero degrees to over 60 degrees (within a few days of each other). The slight hint of spring has come and is quickly going. My sister found out that the baby she is carrying and with all luck will deliver in July is another girl. My niece had her 3rd birthday party. A few of my friends have had metaphysical turmoils and continue to examine their shadows. One friend is re envisioning her eating habits and looks great because of it. Yet in all of this I couldn’t find the time to stop for a few minutes and write about any of this on this blog.


Once again, I wonder if I am really that lazy….