I Love Lucy and The Bible....

SO much to learn...

Driving home, listening to The World on on PRI (NPR's sister) I heard a story that caught my attention and took me to several continents and times.

It seems that tomorrow is St Lazarus day in the Catholic lexicon. The story was broadcast from Cuba where there is a huge shine to St. Lazarus that people to flock to, many on their hands and knees (in someway to honor him (some even tie concrete to their legs to make it harder to crawl.))

This led to a discussion of Babalu who is an African god broght to Cuba who many believ was Lazarus (yes the same one brought back to Life By Jesus Christ and imortalized in a song by Cuban in the 30's, "Babalu" (the name of the spirit/god).

Of course middle America became aware of this spirt by watching "I Love Lucy" in the 50s and watching Ricky sing the now infamous "Babalu."

The story is worth a read a listen.

What a series of useless information I have now!

A Slight X-mas Poem (written on the cuff)...

Twas the week (and a few days) before Christmas,
and all through the web,
all kinds of ideas were stirring,
many of shear dread.

Too many things to do
and not enough time for it all,
people's moans and complaints
were starting to call.

Yet once in while,
all one has to do,
is take a short moment
or maybe a few

And think oh how lucky,
we really most are,
that our dreams are not
really that far.

So when you feel stress
and are ready to yell,
drink yourself some nog
and grab your handy cell

And phone a friend or two
and talk about some things
that make you quite happy
as in the new year rings.

So Santa if you're out there
and listening to me
(kinda like Jesus)
(off to hell I'll flee,

for that last comment
or hence sometimes I fear)
Bring us peace and perhaps just maybe
some cold confections for the New Year!

Christine Lavin is ultra cool...

Getting In Touch With My Inner Bitch
Words and Music by Christine Lavin
Recorded live at the Caffe Lena in Saratoga Springs NY on August 20 1999 by Bob Noble of Hill & Valley Studio

Everybody thinks I'm a nice girl
And that's true Except for one little hitch
When I'm not being a nice girl
I'm Getting In Touch With My Inner Bitch
Some people have an inner child
Some people hear an inner voice
Some people have inner calm
Good for them!
But me I've got no choice
Some people have an inner cop
Some people hear an inner clown
But I've got me an Inner Bitch
And it's hard to keep that Inner Bitch down!
I'll give you an example of My Inner Bitch, here we go:

One day I'm walking around in my neighborhood and a disheveled looking woman comes up to me and she's wearing a sign that says, "Please help me, I am so hungry!" so I dig deep into my pocket and I give her a quarter and I say, "Here you go, good luck to you." And she says, "Oh thanks a lot and God bless!" But as I walk away, I say to myself, I mean My Inner Bitch says to myself, "I don't think she's going to euse that quarter to buy food I think she's going to use that quarter to buy booze." And her Inner Bitch looks at me and says, "25 cents, thanks a lot you cheap slut!" But we look back at each other and we smile,recognizing the subtle communication our two Inner Bitches have had and it feels good!

Some people have an inner child
Some people hear an inner voice
Some people have inner peace
Well me I've got no choice
Some people have an inner cop
Some people hear an inner clown
But I've got me an Inner Bitch
And it's hard to keep that Inner Bitch down!

Ok, here's another example:

I'm standing in line at the bank because I have to cash a check. Finally I'm at the head of the line and one of the two working tellers that day decides she needs to take a cigarette break so she looks at all of us standing in line and she smiles as she walks outside and lights herself a Virginia Slim. She's having an Inner Bitch moment. My Inner Bitch salutes her but I'm mad because I'm still in line. Finally the other working teller shouts that magic word "Next!" and I slip my$50 check under the bullet proof Plexiglas barrier she looks at it and asks me for identification "C'mon," I said, "I've had an account here since 1976 just check my name, it's on file." So she goes and checks my signature and she tells me it doesn't match the one that's on file I said, "C'mon! It's only $50, I have to get my dry cleaning" and she says, "Oh? Well maybe the dry cleaner will cash your check, but I won't!" And I realize I've been witness to two Inner Bitch moments in the same bank on the same day. What are the odds of that happening?So I get an idea. I say call the telephone number that's on file she does and she hears a recording of my voice telling the caller try my cell phone. "Call my cell phone," I tell her, she does and the cell phone clipped to my exercise shorts doesn't ring because the bank's walls are too thick. Instead my voice mail comes on and the bankteller rolls her eyes and says, "Oh, I'm supposed to be impressed, you have two voice mail accounts on two different telephones. I don't think so!" And she slips that $50 check back under the bulletproof, Plexiglas barrier. She thinks she has won. Her Inner Bitch starts dancing! But I find the bank manager and I have her dial my number, she listens and then she marches me right back to the bankteller and commands her to cash that check! The bank teller's InnerBitch stops dancing, My Inner Bitch does the mambo. And the bank manager's Inner Bitch cha cha's out to the sidewalk and cuts that Virginia Slim cigarette break short! Ha!

Some people have an inner childS
ome people hear an inner voice
Some people have inner peace
Good for them!
But me I've got no choice
Some people have an inner cop
Some people hear an inner clown
Well I've got me an Inner Bitch
And it's hard to keep that Inner Bitch down!

All right you're not convinced? This will convince you:

I'm on hold with the airlines. Sixteen times I've heard how important my phone call is to them. I'm trying to track down lost luggage... from a flight that was 5 hours late... due to mechanical problems. What? Oh I know what you're thinking... you're thinking this is just one travel cliche piled on top of another and you don't want to hear this song Well... aren't we the songwriter critic! You know I could say something about that outfit you're wearing. Then you could say something about my hair. And then I could say something about this criminal element you seem to be dating... You've been married for 21 years to that criminal element? You poor thing! Then you could say to me, well how come you're not married, I'm married! And, oh, but telling you I wouldn't advise you to get into this dialogue with me right now, because I'm telling you, My Inner Bitch can kick your Inner Bitch's butt!

Oh, I know there's a lot of nice girls here tonight
But beware 'cuz deep inside
Or just below the surface
An Inner Bitch might hideA
nd if you provoke her
You had best stand back
Oh, you'll never be the same
Once you've been maimed
In an Inner Bitch attack!

Some people have an inner child
Some people have an inner voiceS
ome people have inner strength
Good for them!
But me I've got no choice
Some people have an inner queen
Who's wearing an inner crown
But I've got me an Inner Bitch
And it's hard to keep that... Inner Bitch... down!


AMEN!!!!

How's your inner Bitch today? Mine often hides right below the surface, escpecially this time of year!

Love is a force of nature...

Lots of gay things in the movies this fall.

Rent, The Producers, even Chicken Little... but I have been waiting forever for...

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!!!!

Directed by Ang Lee and starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger and Anne Hathaway, it's based upson a short story by Annie Proulx and explores the relationship between two "cowboys" who meet as cow ruslters in the 60s. Their relationship with each other and their respective lives is also reviewed.

From what I've read, this one is going to set middle America on it's ears and Oscar talk has already started.

I can't wait til it comes to Northeast Ohio.

P.s. Great Soundtrack too... check out the website!

I love poker...

I could write on Poker quite a bit and probably will.. but for now as my birthday winds down, I just have to say... I love poker.

Last night I turned 10 dollars into 55 at a nickel and dime table on Full TiltPoker.

It was a good night...

Another day, another dollar, another headache...

Today, if I had had enough money in savings, I think I would have walked out of my job forever.

This after 10 years with the company.

Why you might ask.

Well, the long story short is that after working at a 134% level (yes I actually get a number every month telling me what percentage I work according to pre-set standards), and after having seldom having a month below 100%, I am told that I am not doing enough... that "I can't let the work manage me that I need to manage the work." And any idea I have about workflow is waved off with a wave of the hand and a "go back to your work."

Can you believe it?

The balls of management.

So I started counting my pennies tonight... just a few more million and I can quit.

Til then I eat a popsicle and go to bed.

Goodnight everyone, see you in the morning

Brini Maxwell

In honor of Martha Musings Galore month, I intoduce to you Brini Maxwell.

In case you haven't met Ms. Maxwell before, she is the hostess of the Brini Maxwell show on the Style Network.

As stated on her website:

Described as part Donna Reed, part Mary Tyler Moore, Maxwell makes kitsch feel classy through her unparalleled personal flair for home design, entertaining and savvy household tips. Inspired by a divine thrift shop purchase of 1950's nesting bowls, she first began sharing her vintage/classic know-how with other Manhattanites in 1998 through her self-titled cable access television show. With an emphasis on uncompromising fabulousness, Brini quickly garnered a devoted fan base and established herself as the go-to-girl on vintage fashion and mid-century modern treasures. After five years on the local airwaves her show was picked up by the Style Network. The subsequent series has been called a delightful success and has attracted a diverse audience thorough its national platform.

Brini was born in Boston, Massachusetts and raised there and the Midwest. She was a child prodigy in the area of domestic science, piping perfect mashed potatoes at the age of five and redesigning the rumpus room in her family home by age 10. At the Fashion Institute of Technology, between spontaneous bouts of cleaning and organizing the student union she achieved a bachelor’s degree in Fashion Design. She worked in the fashion industry for 5 years, never finding fulfillment until she started developing her television show.

Brini still lives in the same tiny intricately apportioned New York City apartment used as the set for the original television show. She spends her time between shooting the television show and making personal appearances, doing needlepoint, shopping for inspiration in thrift shops and vintage stores and spending time with friends. She’s currently shopping for a second home in Palm Springs California and looking wistfully at vintage 1960’s convertibles on eBay Motors.



Brini makes life a little more bearable....

Damn it....

As hard as I try, this time of year, because of the amount of work I end up with at my job, I can not keep myself in a "holly, jolly" mood.

But I will fix that!

I am going to go fix myself a glass of eggnog, perhaps put in "Pee-Wee's Christmas Special" (which if you have not seen is a must see for all!!!) and get over it.

Oh yea, cold confections galore!

Which is my advice to all out there! Get over it. Life is hard and then you move on...


'nuff said.

A Letter to Martha...

Dear Martha,

After watching your recent holiday special and seeing how easy it is to make 300 plum puddings for your closest friends and after seeing you decorate your entire house to appear like a scene right out Dicken's A Christmas Carol as it might have been staged by Currier and Ives, I decided to try my hand at a little "holiday magic."

First stop was my local super store where I picked up your 8 books on Christmas planning and decorating, 4 DVDs of yours teaching me how to make my house look like yours for the holidays, all the needed Martha Stewart brand decorations mentioned in the books (thanks for the pull off book cover with the shopping list) and even a copy of your CD "Relaxing Holiday Sounds."

Unfortunately, I was out of commission for the next week because I threw my back out trying to load all of my purchases into my car. (Total cost $1254.87 for the books and such and another $100.00 for the doctor and my prescriptions (how about a chapter in a future book on making your own pharmaceuticals?))

Once I was able to stand up straight again, I set out to make 300 plum puddings for all of my closest friends just as you suggest (although I wasn't quite sure what my friends were going to go with 60 plum puddings each). Although I was beginning to panic as I was already a week behind the schedule set forth in your book.

Next stop was my local grocery store where I spent $523.74 on the ingredients. I went home and began mixing up the batter. Of course, at the time I was living in a 1-bedroom apartment with a half-size stove and oven so I couldn't mix up all the batter at once like you show in your book, so I set out to make them one at a time. Each pudding took 1 hour to mix and bake, so 12 and a half days later I was done making the puddings.

Now I was three weeks behind the schedule of your book, and Christmas having passed 3 days earlier and with no other presents for my friends I ventured out singing the old wassail songs listed in Chapter 5 of your book. I learned them in the Middle English just like you suggested.

Well Martha, here is where my question to you comes in.

During the almost 2 weeks of making and baking the puddings, I hadn't showered, so when I showed up at my 1st friend’s house with a wheelbarrow of 60 plum puddings, singing in an what sounded like an unknown language and smelling like an old gym sock, my friend called the police and had me arrested.

Since I had spent $523.74 on ingredients and another $1254.87 for your books and such (not to mention the $100.00 on the doctor) and since I hadn't been to work for the past month, I had no money for bail.

So dear Martha, do you have a book on how to pass the time in county jail (I am hoping your recent stint in prison will make it so) or at least some ideas on how to accessorize this orange jumpsuit?

Forever Faithful,
Shannon